Life Isnt Perfect
by crystal tears
Summary: ~ Complete ~ Heero died, and in the days that follow his death, Duo finds out who his parents are. And who he really is. WARNING: a slight bit of 1x2 ahead! At first, it wasn't like this, but I couldn't help myself... ::grins sheepishly::
1. Chapter 1

"So this is how it ends..." Heero looked tiredly at his friends, who stood in a semi-circle around his bed.   
  
Duo shook his head wildly. "No, don't say that! You're not going to die; I won't let you die!" But the hope in his eyes had died down, and something inside him told him it was time he let go.  
  
"Duo..." The pilot of Wing shook his head softly. "No one lives forever; it's my time now, my time to leave."  
Quatre sighed softly as he placed a hand on the American's shoulder. "There's no way out of it…if there was, the doctors would've saved him by now."  
  
Turning misty eyes to Quatre, Duo swallowed hard before running out of the room, trying hard to keep in his tears. The others watched him disappear beyond the whitewashed door and into the hall. "I'm sorry..." Heero whispered after him, closing his eyes.  
  
"There's nothing you need to be sorry about, Heero. It's not your fault," Trowa reassured him, though inside, his soul was screaming at the pale boy in the bed before him.   
  
Heero sighed and turned his head onto the side. "I'm sorry," he said again softly...then the line on the monitor went flat.   
  
An alarm went off as the 'beeps' of the monitor died and some nurses immediately ran in, their faces blank and dull. One of the white-dressed nurses walked over to where the three were standing, staring at the bed and its occupant. "Please leave this room," she said, nodding them out. They heard the door shut as they exited.   
  
When they were in the corridor, Quatre and Trowa shared a sorrow-filled glance as Duo came up to them. "He's dead, isn't he?" he asked.   
  
Quatre looked at him sadly and nodded. "He said he was sorry."  
  
Duo exploded, the tears he'd been holding back suddenly bursting out of his eyes all at once. "SORRY?! For what? What the hell does he have to sorry for? He died, damn it! What's he to be sorry about?" Duo sank into a chair and buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. "He wasn't supposed to die. He's too young!" he muttered, barely audible.  
  
"I know." Even Wufei looked downcast, his usual scowl gone from his face. "But it wasn't as if though he had a choice..." A sniffle came out from between Duo's hands. "Duo…"  
  
Even though they'd all been pretty good friends with Heero, his death had been the hardest on Duo, who had dubbed him 'best friend of a lifetime' a year or two ago. Now, lives seemed so short, so useless. To Duo, Heero was the only guy that understood the American. Oh sure, he called Duo idiot at times, but he always listened...he never failed to be there. Until now.   
  
Quatre looked at Duo's disheartened state and his heart ached. "Come on Duo. Let's go," he said softly. He glanced at Trowa, who nodded. He and Wufei would stay and take care of things at the hospital…Duo had to leave first. Quatre helped Duo to his feet and allowed him to half-lean on him as they walked down the hall, to the car.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Quatre opened the front door and motioned for Duo to enter first. Carefully avoiding the other's eyes, Duo walked in dishearteningly, looking down at the floor. "Are you hungry?" Quatre asked. Duo shook his head. "Are you sure? We have some new ice cream in the refrigerator." Duo shook his head again, and Quatre really started to worry. Duo never turned down ice cream…   
  
Seeming to suddenly realize Quatre's discomfort, Duo looked up and forced a smile onto his face. "I'm alright. Really. Don't worry."  
  
"Of course…" Quatre sighed. "I'll be in the drawing room, then. If you need anything, come up and find me, alright?" Duo nodded and, with one last look at him, Quatre walked upstairs.   
  
Duo watched him disappear around the corner before turning back the way he'd just come and, opening the door quietly, slipped outside.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
With his braid tucked securely between his shirt and jacket and his eyes shaded by the cap, Duo made his way down the grassy lawn of the hospital. Always check your facts, someone had once told him, and now he was going to do just that. He pushed open the door and walked into the hospital. The smell of the sterilized rooms hit him hard, like a punch in the stomach, and he gasped, suddenly nauseated. He struggled for a few seconds with his sense of smell and the urge to run to the nearest bathroom before advancing again to the counter.   
  
The nurse currently on duty looked up as Duo walked over. "Hello, can I help you?" he asked pleasantly.   
  
Duo nodded. "Can you please tell me the room number for Heero Yuy? I'm a close friend of his, and I'd like to see him."  
  
"Sure. Please wait a minute." The nurse turned to his computer and typed in a few quick words. A slight frown appeared on his face. He typed in a few more words and the frown deepened. After awhile, he faced Duo again. "I'm sorry sir, but he's no longer with us…"  
  
Duo smiled. "So he's checked out? That's great!"  
  
The nurse nodded, shook his head, nodded again, and finally settled for shrugging. "I'm sorry sir… He's checked out, yes, but not…in a good way."  
  
Duo's heart nearly stopped. "What do you mean, 'not in a good way'?"  
  
"He's dead, sir."  
  
"No." Duo shook his head violently. "No. He can't be dead!"  
  
The nurse looked at him, pity in his eyes. "I'm sorry sir…"  
  
He was creating a scene… Besides, he'd already known Heero was dead; he'd just come here to make a fool of himself… Duo took in a deep breath. "Yes, yes, of course… I'm sorry for bothering you." Then, still in a state of shock, he left the hospital.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Duo opened the front door and walked back into Quatre's house. 'Heero's really dead…' he thought numbly. 'He's dead.' Strange. He didn't really feel anything, not sadness nor anger. Just…nothing.   
  
The sound of sobs broke suddenly him out of his reverie and he looked up, startled. Quatre was sitting on a couch in the living room, a box of Kleenex on one side and Trowa on the other. "It's alright," Duo heard Trowa say. "Come on Quatre…"  
  
"But…Heero. Heero, he's…" Quatre blew noisily into a tissue. "He's DEAD!"   
  
Although he knew he should probably be acting the way Quatre was, Duo still didn't feel anything. There was a huge gawking hole inside of him where he felt his heart should've been. It seemed to suck everything away, leaving Duo empty and numb.   
  
Trowa looked up just then and saw Duo standing at the doorway. "Duo…" Quatre looked up at the name, his eyes rimmed with red and his face dirty and streaked with tears.  
  
"Duo…"  
  
Duo tried to smile. "I'm alright, guys. I already told you, I'm fine." He turned around and walked up the stairs, leaving two boys watching him in slight bewilderment. 'But am I? Am I?'   
  
As soon as he was in the safety of his room, he slumped down onto his bed and curled up into a tight ball. 'Am I alright?' He closed his eyes, wishing for oblivion. He knew from past experiences that unconsciousness took everything away, and that was just what he wanted right then. Nothing.   
  
Within minutes, he got his wish and, still curled up tightly on the bed, Duo fell asleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

Everything was pitch black all of a sudden. No matter how large he made his eyes, Duo still couldn't see anything, not even the back of his own hand. Turning left, Duo stared into empty space; everything was a big dark hole, yawning up at him and eager to swallow him up. "Where the hell am I?" he asked, somewhat rhetorically.   
  
Suddenly, something flickered to his right, and he quickly turned around. However, as soon as he was facing that side, the flame disappeared. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the flicker again, and once again turned right. But like the last time, it disappeared as soon as he was facing it. "Stay still, you friggin' thing!" he growled, turning in circles and trying to find the elusive flame.  
  
A few minutes later, a silky, female voice spoke so suddenly Duo jumped. "Hello, my dear, and welcome." As soon as she finished the sentence, the whole room lit up and walls of flame surrounded Duo.  
  
"Who are you?" he demanded, his face turning red from a combination of anger and exhaustion from the day's earlier events. "And what is this place?"  
  
"Ah, my son. You don't recognize your own home?" The fire parted to reveal a beautiful woman, dressed in black with silver cuffs. Her hair, chestnut brown, was bound in a single braid behind her back. There was smile on her lips, warm and welcome.   
  
But Duo hardly felt warmed or welcomed. "Son? Home?" With his insides turning with anxiety and his face hot with heat, Duo was definitely not a happy person. And being confused just added to his rage. "What're you talking about?!"  
  
If anything, the woman's smile got brighter. "This is your home, Duo love. This...is Hell." The woman swept her arms apart, and the flames rose even higher. Shadows danced on the light, showing people bent over with fatigue and weariness. A high-pitched scream sounded, sending shivers up Duo's spine. "Don't you recognize it?"  
  
"He...e...e...ll?" Duo stuttered, his eyes wide as his irritation lay momentarily forgotten. The light of the fire reflected off his violet eyes, making them glow even brighter. "You've got to be kidding me."  
  
"Death hardly lies, dear," the woman said, raising her eyebrows.   
  
"You're Death?" He stared at the woman, who met him eye to eye. Before she could answer, he looked around and asked, "And how come this fire doesn't hurt me? Is it fake or something? You know, illusion?"  
  
The woman shook her head. "You are Shinigami, the Lord of Death. Fire can't harm you, especially not in your own home."  
  
Duo turned to stare at the woman again. "Shinigami? Man, and I thought I was making that up…"  
  
A chuckle came out of the lady's throat. "You have so much to remember, love," she said.  
  
"Well, if I'm the Lord of Death, then you must be the Grim Reaper, right?" he asked, halfway jokingly.   
  
She shook her head. "No. That's your father. I am your mother, Shi no Tenshi, the Angel of Death."  
  
"…Angel?" he managed to choke out. "You don't look much of an angel..." She did look like an angel, actually, dressed as elegantly as she was and with her heart-shaped face lifted high up on a slender neck.  
  
A look of hurt flashed across her face before she regained her composure. "Well, that's who I am."   
  
Duo swallowed hard and wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. "So…why am I here?"  
  
Shi no Tenshi looked at him, long and hard. "You really don't remember..." she sighed. "Your father died one of your years ago, and I've been holding the place together. But I can't handle it much longer...we need you to take the place. That's why I summoned you."  
  
But Death's immortal! He can't die!" Duo protested. All thoughts of Heero were completely wiped out of his mind.  
  
Shi no Tenshi nodded. "True. I'm not sure how he died, but he did." Duo's mother beckoned to him. "Now come along. I want to show you your kingdom."  
  
Duo was about to follow when the little voice of reason spoke in his mind. 'You're not really going, are you? What proof has she that she's your mother?' Duo hesitated.   
  
The lady in front of him turned around and looked at him questioningly. Her eyes sought his, and he realized something startling. She looked like him. Or rather, he looked like her. They had the same heart face, the same brown hair, and, to top it off, they had the same violet eyes. "Aren't you coming?"  
  
With his voice of reason silenced, there was nothing to stop him. "Of course," he said, and scampered after her.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
With the tour of Hell almost over, Shi no Tenshi and her son stopped for a rest. "Wow, but this place is ~big~," Duo remarked. Was that a good or bad thing?  
  
She sighed and nodded. "Yes it is. All the evil in the world…" She sighed again. "But…not everyone down here is evil…"  
  
Duo looked at her. "What do you mean?"  
  
"There are people down here with pure hearts that were damned because they killed." She looked around her. "Shocking as it is to Christians like you, it's true. The one section I haven't taken you through is the dungeon for those that have killed." She hesitated.  
  
He noticed her hesitation almost immediately. "So why not? We can go now."  
  
Shi no Tenshi shook her head. "No, we can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because…" She turned her face away, refusing to look Duo in the eyes. "I have my reasons."   
  
Duo narrowed his eyes but decided not to push the subject. At least, not for now. Shi no Tenshi, encouraged by his silence, looked up again. "So are you ready to take over?"  
  
He blinked. "Take over?" he asked somewhat dumbly.  
  
"Of course take over," she said. "You're the heir. You're Shinigami."  
  
Duo blinked again. His mind was operating at a super-slow pace, thinking through everything she'd just said and everything he'd just seen on his little 'tour' through Hell. Then, suddenly, he came up with a somewhat brilliant idea. "Maybe," he said. "But you have to show me the last section before I make my decision."  
  
Taken aback by her son's words, Shi no Tenshi recoiled as if struck. She faltered. "But…Duo…" He looked at her, trying to appear stern. "I don't…" She looked at him again and sighed. "As you wish."   
  
She stood up and Duo followed triumphantly. She looked at him one last time before turning to the path. "Come with me."   
  
Duo followed her obediently as they walked down the path together, son behind mother. A few yards ahead was a gate, which opened automatically as Shi no Tenshi and Shinigami came into view. They entered and the gate shut again.  
  
Duo looked around him, slightly shocked by what he saw. The place was different…much different…then what he'd seen already of Hell. Heavy chains were draped across the section, leading from the ceiling to the floor. Men and women alike were toiling away, sweating profusely as the flames licked at their feet.  
  
Duo let his eyes wander from figure to figure, when suddenly he froze. That one in the corner, with the shock of dark hair… Was it…? Duo stepped forward and tripped over a huge link of chain. The whole chain rattled. The man he'd been watching looked up at the sound and Duo nearly fainted.   
  
Heero. It was Heero. That not-boy-but-not-quite-man face definitely belonged to Heero. His Heero. With a cry of half joy, half relief, Duo started to sprint forwards but was stopped by a cold hand on his shoulder. "You mustn't, Duo," Shi no Tenshi said softly.   
  
He turned to glare at her. "He's my friend!" he hissed angrily.   
  
A look of sorrow crept into her eyes. "That's why I didn't want you to come here…"   
  
"You…" Duo sputtered. "You mean, you knew Heero was here all along and you knew he was my friend and you didn't TELL me?!"   
  
His mother opened his mouth to say something, changed her mind, and closed it again. A pleading look came over her face.  
  
"I don't believe you…" Fighting to keep his voice steady, Duo went on. "Release him. I demand you to release him now! Oh hell, if I'm Shinigami, I may as well release him myself!" With a final huff, he took a stride forward. Then he stopped.   
  
Everyone had stopped whatever they were doing by then and were staring at him and Shi no Tenshi. They were all silent and attentive, Heero especially. Duo blinked in surprise. The Japanese boy had moved up and was standing almost right next to him by the time Duo had finished ranting. "Um…hi Heero," he said meekly.  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
Duo tried to grin. "What, there's no 'hi Duo, so glad to see you,' for me?" Heero arched an eyebrow. "Well…uh…I'm…"  
  
Shi no Tenshi broke in. "He's visiting his kingdom."  
  
Heero turned his gaze to the woman. "M'lady."   
  
Duo looked from him to Shi no Tenshi and then back. "You know her?"  
  
"I've seen her around."  
  
Duo sighed. "Is it just me, or is this getting kind of complicated?"  
  
Shi no Tenshi sighed too. "It's getting complicated."  
  
A small smile spread across Heero's face. "Mother and son…"  
  
Duo snapped his head up. "How'd you know?"  
  
He shrugged. "You look the same, you think the same, you talk the same… The list can go on for a long time."  
  
Duo felt a sudden pull at his heart. Heero had noticed. After all these years of 'Oh, it's just Duo,' Heero had actually noticed what kind of a person Duo was. And he had even noticed Duo enough to be able to compare him to Shi no Tenshi. Duo blinked. 'Oh hell no! I'm not falling in love with him! Not now!' Falling in love could wait for later…  
  
He turned to Shi no Tenshi. "Let him free. Please, can't you? If you're in charge here, can't you let him go? Give him his life back?"  
  
Shi no Tenshi looked down at her son and suddenly felt as if she were going to cry. The one thing he'd ever requested and she couldn't give it to him… She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Duo."   
  
"Why not?" Duo was using all his self-control to keep his voice reasonable and not angry or whiny.   
  
Her dark eyebrows bunched together in a frown. "I can't, love. His soul is scarred from all the murders he's committed. I can't."  
  
"HE DIDN'T KILL BECAUSE HE WANTED TO!" Duo cried. "LET HIM GO!" Heero looked surprised at Duo's sudden burst of anger.  
  
"I can't! Understand that, Duo. I can't let him go!"   
  
"Why not?" Duo was breathing heavily now, and the only that stopped him from attacking her was the fact that she was his mother. And that Heero was standing right there next to him, and he didn't want to make himself seem any stupider then he already was. "Why not?" he repeated.  
  
"Because each person he kills is like another chain added on, binding him to Hell, hence all the chains," she explained. "I can't release him from them."  
  
Duo closed his eyes tightly, denying what he'd just heard and seen. "But he...he can't stay here!"  
  
"I'm sorry..." Shi no Tenshi looked like she was about to break down at any moment.  
  
Duo was about to say more to her, less offensive and more comforting because he didn't want to see her hurt, when suddenly the ground opened up and he dropped through. The last thing he saw before he entered oblivion again was Heero's face. 'Heero…'   
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Duo bolted awake, panting heavily, sweat covering his forehead. "It was a nightmare," he said, trying to reassure himself. "Just a nightmare." But then a sudden flicker of flame that had definitely ~not~ come from a candle jumped at the foot of his bed before vanishing. 'Okay, not a nightmare...'   
  
Then he realized something. "I've got to save Heero!" He slipped out of bed and hastily changed into jeans and a white shirt, then pulled on his shoes and ran out the door.   
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
It was raining, and Duo stumbled a lot in his haste, but he finally made it to the cemetery. The old gate creaked as he entered, causing his hand to unconsciously fly to the cross he wore around his neck.   
  
Quietly, he walked over to Heero's grave and gently pressed the 'H' on the tombstone, opening up a door that wasn't there before. How he knew to do this, he didn't know, but at least he now had an opening. He tumbled down the stairs and into the familiar setting of Hell. Two huge Dobermans out of a nightmare rushed out of the darkness and straight at him, but then stopped as they recognized him as the Lord of Death. "Good dogs," Duo said absently, patting them on their heads as they whined and wagged their tails furiously.   
  
Duo then took in a deep breath and walked forward, staring at the yawning tunnel ahead of him. 'This is your home...it's all right. You can go in…go on in…'   
  
After what seemed like eternity in a dark tunnel, Duo stepped out into light, greeted by the thick, unmistakable air of fear and pain. Once again, he found himself staring at huge chains that glowed red amidst the leaping flames.   
A figure was curled up, unmoving, beyond the chains closest to Duo. Unable to stop himself, Duo ran towards the fallen boy and turned him over, unable to stifle a gasp of shock when he recognized who it was. 'But…I supposed it's just right to find Heero where his grave is...' he thought, cradling his friend. 'I better get him out of here though...and fast!'   
  
Duo gently brushed back one of Heero's bangs and asked, "Heero? Can you hear me? It's Duo..."  
Heero's eyes fluttered open. "Duo...?" Disbelief was in his voice, but when Duo nodded, he smiled weakly. "So you came back…"   
  
"Yup. Come on. Let's get you out of here." Duo stood up with Heero's arm around his neck and helped him walk towards the steps. A few steps away from the stairs, a yell stopped him.  
  
"That's him! That's the intruder!" A crowd of demons came running towards them, the lead one with eyes flashing red.  
  
A sudden gasp came from the back, stopping the demons' advance, and then the crowd parted for one of the demons. "That's Shinigami! Shi no Tenshi's son!"   
  
A collective gasp went up, and then a demon came up timidly to Duo. "Why are you taking him out?" he asked. "My lord?" he quickly added.  
  
Duo stared at the title but recovered quickly and said fiercely, "Heero's my friend. I can't let him die!"   
  
"But...but if you take every one of your friends out, there won't be any one in here!"  
  
"How do you know?!" Duo defended himself, holding Heero even closer. His heart started to beat at a faster-than-usual rate. He was becoming desperate; he couldn't give his best friend to these demons!  
  
The demons sighed and looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Suddenly, someone at the back called, "The lady's coming!"  
  
Everyone parted as Shi no Tenshi came down, her dress sweeping the ground. "Duo!" she exclaimed, her eyes flashing with anger. "You're not supposed to be down here!"   
  
"You can't take Heero from me!" Duo exclaimed, trembling. "Please!"  
  
Her expression softened. "Oh Duo. I'd let him go if I could...honest! But I can't..."  
  
Duo bit his lip. "Well, I'm not leaving his side!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"I'M NOT LEAVING!" Heero looked up, surprisingly touched by Duo's protectiveness. 'Thank you…' he thought, not heard by anyone.  
  
Shi no Tenshi frowned. "But you can't stay here!"  
  
Duo narrowed his eyes. "I would've sworn you were the one to summon me here in the first place! Hell, this is my kingdom, damn it!"  
  
She took in a shuddering breath and gazed imploringly at her son. "Duo, you can't stay here until you let go of your home on Earth! You're too attached...you can't stay here. You'll die, eventually, if you stay away from the place you belong for too long!"  
  
"But you said I belong here..."  
  
"You're heart and soul are still on Earth, not here. You can't live here until you let go."   
  
"Then I'll let go!" he declared angrily.  
  
"It's not that easy..."  
  
Duo snorted. "Oh, so giving up my best friend is?!"  
  
"I never said that!" Shi no Tenshi's face was twisted with pain. "Oh Duo, you don't know! You couldn't know how much it hurts to watch you every day, but being unable to help you, to be there for you!"   
  
"And now you're against me..." she added softly.  
  
"This better not be an act to get me to leave!" he hissed.  
  
Heero sighed. "Duo..." he mumbled softly. "She's not lying. I can tell...she's not a bad woman...really."  
  
Duo looked down at him. "I want to believe that...I really do!" he answered. "But I can't." He looked back up at his mom.  
  
"I've waited 6 thousand years for you!" Shi no Tenshi exclaimed.   
  
Startled, Duo raised an eyebrow. "How can that be possible?"  
  
Almost sobbing, she explained. "Each of your days is a year for us, over here...and I've waited 17 of your years!"  
He looked in horror at Heero, still leaning against him. "You mean...Heero's spent half a year here already?!"  
She nodded reluctantly.  
  
"Oh god... I really really have to get him out of here...now!" Duo's mind was set. He was going to get his friend out of here, no matter what the cost. He didn't deserve to be here.   
  
"DUO!" Now his mother's voice held the stern tone that all magically parents had. "Go back, before you waste away down here! I promise I'll watch over Heero until you can come back. I swear I will!"  
  
Duo looked at her, unwilling to hand Heero over. "It's alright, Duo. Go." Heero smiled again, hoping to reassure him.  
  
Hesitation, then confusion, then hundreds of other emotions passed over his face. Finally, Duo sighed but let go of him. "Fine. But you better not do anything to him!" Shi no Tenshi nodded and a small smile of relief lifted the corners of her mouth. Then, with a gesture of her hand, a hole appeared behind Duo.   
  
"Go on, love." Her expression softened. "And come back soon…" 


	3. Chapter 3

When Duo stepped out of the hole, he found himself in his bedroom again. 'Weird...' He glanced at the clock, which read 2:06, one minute after he'd left. 'So she wasn't lying about the time difference.'  
  
For some reason, that reassured him. He knew now that he could at least trust his mother not to lie to him, and that calmed him down a bit. All he had to do before going back in and trying to save Heero was let go. Let go…whatever that meant. Oh well. If it was for Heero, Duo could and would do anything. He'd even go to Hell. A not-quite-amused laugh came out of him. 'Hell…I've already done that,' he thought wryly. 'I've already been to Hell…and back.'   
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
When he woke up the next morning, Duo found a note pinned to the kitchen table saying that the others had left for a meeting on a colony. They wouldn't be back until a week later. "Well, that gives me plenty of time to 'let go', doesn't it?" he asked the refrigerator, which hummed in reply. He sighed. "This is stupid..."  
  
After eating breakfast, he went into the living room, where he sat in his favorite armchair and started meditating. 'That's not going to let you go, you know,' his little voice of reason scoffed.   
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
'It really isn't...' Then it didn't speak again. Duo glared at his reflection in the mirror, hoping that the voice inside saw it.   
  
After an hour, what the voice had predicated came true and Duo gave up. He decided to go out for a walk. The breeze that greeted him tugged his braid playfully, and he let it blow before pulling his cap on and stopping his hair from flying everywhere.  
  
'Mom...' Duo thought. He liked the familiarity to it, but still...it seemed so far away. He didn't even know he had a mom until a day ago. How could he learn to trust her in such short a time?  
  
'Shi no Tenshi's a good person.'  
  
"I said DON'T BOTHER ME!" Duo said softly, so the other people couldn't hear. "And I don't need your advice!"  
'Sure...' Duo was starting to resent his voice of reason's personality. It reminded Duo too much of himself.  
  
He snarled, directing it to the voice, but quickly straightened his face when an old lady gave him a weird look and muttered, "Young people these days."  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
That night, after Duo had finally given up trying to 'let go', he fell into bed, exhausted from his efforts of trying to rest. "This is VERY stupid..."  
  
His computer hummed companionably.   
  
Duo blinked and sat up suddenly. 'Hey wait a minute. I don't have a computer.' He turned to stare at the monitor sitting on the table in the corner of the room. Somewhat tentatively, Duo got out of bed and advanced towards the computer, which was still humming.   
  
He touched the mouse, giving it a little shake, and the black of the screen gave way to words. Arigatou. See you soon. There was a little happy face floating around next to the words.   
  
Duo grinned despite himself. 'Geez Heero.' Even though he almost never smiled and had no sense of humor whatsoever, it was obvious Heero had sent the message. For one, the computer belonged to him (Duo could tell because the monitor had a dent where he'd 'accidentally' knocked it to the ground once), and two, floating around with the smiley face was a gun. 'Thanks.'  
  
A smile still lingering on his face, Duo plopped back into bed and burrowed under the covers. Tomorrow, he'd try letting go again. But tonight… Well, tonight was for sleeping. Only sleeping…no worrying...  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Despite the fact that Heero had died, Duo was suddenly the heir to Hell, and that a voice of reason had decided on impulse to make itself known, life went on. Duo, glad that no one was around to watch, stuffed his face with Ben and Jerry's coffee ice cream, all the while still working on the 'letting go' process. His favorite armchair now had a big butt-dent in it where Duo had sat down for too long.   
  
It was five o'clock pm of a gorgeous day, and Duo was once again curled up in his chair, fiddling with his cross. He stared at the cross and a shadow settled over his soul. Now that he was the rightful heir of Hell, was it right to keep wearing the necklace? The cross was, after all, a symbol of Jesus Christ, right? And a person who was literally the child of Satan sure couldn't be too saint-like nor God worshipping, for that matter.   
  
Then again, he couldn't just take it off and forget about it either… It was a last reminder of Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, and all the others at the church. It wouldn't be right to throw it away. He sighed. If Heero were here, he'd know what to do…   
  
'Stop it!' Duo thought angrily. 'Worrying about a cross isn't going to bring Heero back!' Duo was about to get up and do something to help bring Heero back when he stopped. 'But what will?' He sighed, feeling more dejected then he had ever felt in his life. 'Someone help me!'  
  
Suddenly, the phone ran and Duo nearly jumped out of his skin. As soon as he recovered from the shock, he sprang out of his chair and grabbed for the phone. Maybe it was Heero… "Hello?"  
  
"Hi. Duo?" A worried voice came over the phone and Duo felt his hope leave him.  
  
"Oh…Quatre."  
  
"Are you alright? I feel…bad…about leaving you home alone right now."  
  
Duo, touched by the blonde's worry, forced a cheerful note into his voice. "Oh, I'm alright. I haven't killed anything yet, if that's what you're worried about. And your house is still standing."  
  
Quatre sighed and Duo could imagine a smile coming over Quatre's face. "Well, if you're alright, then you wouldn't mind if we're gone for five more days?"  
  
"Oh sure, no problem! I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy now."  
  
"Of course." There was a slight pause. "I have to leave now… There's another meeting soon, and I wanted to talk to Trowa before we leave again."  
  
"Alright. I'll see you, I guess." There was a click as Quatre hung up, and after awhile, Duo placed the phone back into its cradle. He closed his eyes and sagged against the wall. 'Heero…'  
  
Duo was just about to drown in his misery when the phone ran again. His hand shot out to grab the receiver. "Hello?"  
  
"Duo…" The other voice was feminine, soft and longing. "Is it you?"  
  
His eyes widened. "Mom?'  
  
"I'm glad you can recognize me…" Shi no Tenshi sighed softly. "Can you come over? I…I need to see you…"  
  
"Come over? How?"  
  
"The same way you did last time. Through Heero's grave."  
  
"I… Sure, I guess so. I'll be right over."  
  
"Thank you…"   
  
Duo hung up, more than a bit perplexed over the urgent tone in his mother's voice. What in the world had happened? Heero couldn't have…died again, could he? Appalled at the thought, Duo grabbed his jacket of the back of a chair and ran out the door, sprinting to the graveyard.   
  
It didn't take him long to locate Heero's tombstone and enter the tunnel again, though he was more reluctant to do so this time. Surprisingly, there were no Dobermans out guarding the entrance, nor were there signs of any other guards.   
  
Duo stepped into the room at the end of the tunnel cautiously. "Hello?" he called into the darkness.  
  
At the sound of his voice, a ball of flame appeared, lighting the room. Shi no Tenshi stood on one side of the room, an ancient book opened in her arms. "Duo…"  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
"Our librarian found a spell that would free a person bound to hell from his chains," she said softly.   
  
"Alright!" he exclaimed happily. Then, after getting a closer look of his mother's face, he added, "Hey, why do you look so sad?"  
  
"It requires the soul of a pure person..." she replied.  
  
He stepped closer towards his mother, sensing dread. "I don't get it," he said, preparing for the worst.  
  
Heero, seated at Shi no Tenshi's feet, explained. "The spell needs the soul of someone who's never killed nor sinned before."  
  
"And…?" Duo's voice was getting softer as he talked. He had a feeling he knew who the sacrifice was going to be…and he wasn't going to like it. Not one bit.  
  
"The lady is the only one around for miles that hasn't done either of those things…"  
  
Duo stared at his mother, shocked. "But…you can't die, right? I mean, you're the Angel of Death…"  
  
"Spells sometimes override the rules of 'Death can't die', as in this case," she said. "Besides, it would take my soul, not my life."  
  
"What's that mean?"   
  
She looked at Duo. "I have no life, for I am Death. But I still have a soul. And that's what the spell requires."  
  
"You're not…" Duo shook his head slowly. "You're not going to, right?"  
  
Shi no Tenshi turned her face so she was no longer facing Duo. "Anything to make you happy, love. Besides, there is no need for me down here… My soul was to disintegrate soon. That's why I so suddenly brought you down here and told you about being Shinigami." She smiled, though still avoiding Duo's eyes. "And I may as well put my soul to good use before it disappears, hm?"  
  
"But…but…" Duo looked towards Heero for help. "But…" Finally, unsure of what to say, he ran towards her and flung his arms around her. "But you CAN'T!"  
  
Shi no Tenshi, surprised, wrapped her arms around her son. "Sh, Duo. Yes I can, and I already have. The spell will keep my soul together for however long it may be needed."  
  
He looked up, his violet eyes swimming with tears. "What do you mean, you already have?"  
  
"The spell has been invoked." She took in a deep breath, trying to be strong if only for Duo's sake. "Listen, love. By tomorrow, I would've disappeared anyways. If it wasn't the spell, then it would've been Time. True Death cannot die, but I am only his wife. I can still…no longer exist."  
  
Duo tightened his hold around her. "Mom…" he whispered, feeling a wet trail sliding down his cheek. "You can't…"  
  
"It'll be alright, Duo. You'll see." When Duo didn't reply, she said, "I'm sorry…"  
  
He looked up at that. "Why does everyone always say they're sorry?" he cried. "It's not as if though it'll make everything right again!" A tear trickled down his face. "First Heero died, now you have to die, and it's because of me. And all you can say is sorry!" He broke down, tears streaming down his face.  
  
"Oh…" Shi no Tenshi gathered Duo up in her arms and held him, murmuring inaudible words to him.   
  
Heero looked on, pain in his blue eyes. 'It didn't have to happen this way...' he thought. 'It wouldn't be this way, if I hadn't died…'  
  
That was when she started to fade. "Please," Duo sobbed, holding her desperately. "Not yet!"  
  
"I love you, Duo," she called as she disappeared. "Remember that!" A few minutes later, all that was left of her was memories.   
  
"I love you too..." he said, even though he knew she couldn't hear. Duo finally realized it. He really did love her; it was just that he'd never actively accepted it before. "Mom..."  
  
Heero looked at him, his heart aching along with his friend's. "Duo..." Duo allowed Heero to hold him, to comfort him.   
  
"I never got the chance to tell her I love her!" Duo cried.   
  
"But she knew...she always knew." Finally, after what seemed hours, they stood up, and, hand in hand, the two walked back up the stairs, leaving behind the place of Death.   
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
A few days later, before Quatre and the others were due to arrive back home, Duo received a phone call from Hell. "Shinigami? This is Fervios, your mother's librarian."  
  
"Oh. Um…hi." Duo was slightly surprised to hear from anyone down underground.   
  
"I've called to tell you that we have found a replacement Death. That is, if you don't mind." The last part was added hastily.  
  
Duo sighed in relief. "Of course I don't mind! Actually, I'd been rather hoping that you would do that."  
  
"So I suppose we're at an agreement, sir?"  
  
"Yeah. You've find another Grim Reaper to take my place and I won't bother you, right?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Then…"  
  
"Um…"  
  
"Oh yes. About your friend. No one will remember he died, except you two. And you must never tell anyone."  
  
"Of course I won't tell!"  
  
"Good. Then I won't be seeing you again, sir. Goodbye."  
  
Duo blinked. "Yeah…sure…" He stared at the phone as the line went dead, then shrugged and hung up.   
  
Heero entered the room, a coffee mug in his hand. "Who was that?"  
  
"Some librarian. Really weird."  
  
"Fervios?"  
  
"Yeah." Duo looked at Heero. "Hey, how'd you know?"  
  
Heero shrugged and sat down, looking at Duo with eyes bright. Suddenly, Duo grinned. "It's later, isn't it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing." Duo's grin got wider. 'Falling in love can wait for later, and now it's later.' "Did you ever hear of Dragon Ball Z?"  
  
Heero blinked. "…"  
  
"Come on, they're showing it now." He dragged Heero over to the T.V., flopped down on the couch, and picked up the remote. Heero, surprised, sat down next to him. Duo settled back happily. There was so much to do, so much to say, but for now…for now, DBZ was all he really wanted. DBZ, Heero, and his mug of coffee.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Epilogue: In the end, time was reversed, and Heero never died. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei still led their regular lives...only Duo and Heero remember that Heero had ever died. Sometimes, Duo still has dreams about his mom, his home in Hell; but he couldn't go back. It just wouldn't be right, in his opinion. Someone else was already the new Death, taking over Duo's spot.   
  
But he didn't care... Duo knew he would always be the one and only Shinigami, and Shi no Tenshi would always be as dear as any mother would be, in his heart. 


End file.
